An Iraq that no longer exists

I watched the whole film this morning
(you need to follow the link http://www.nfb.ca/baghdad-twist
, it is just over 30mn)

I have been thinking ever since about why it hurt so much

Because it is beautifully made

Because it reminded me of the many times I asked my parents "so when that happened why did you stay"

Because it reminded me of being kept home from school on that day in 1968, my mother heard the news on the BBC

Because it made me feel the need to apologise; for what happened, for not knowing what happened, and for not questioning the version I was given of what happened

But perhaps what hurts most is the knowledge that even as we watch this today, somewhere in Iraq another version of de-Iraqification of people who have had to leave everything behind is going on

Decade One

When we stood

Holding hands

In the tiny spot

Huddled between the hugging couples

Swaying to the countdown

At Trafalgar square

We never imagined that ten years later our lives would be so different

One decade, more than any before completely changed our lives

As 2010 starts I find myself thinking how in this past decade so many uncertainties have been resolved

I faced the new millennium with many questions

Should I leave Birmingham for London?

Would I make it to consultant before the age of forty?

Could I face the agony of another failed cycle of treatment?

Would I ever see my two sisters?

Would I ever see my old home?

The past decade has brought incredible moments of triumph and joy

Answering a call from Prof N offering me the training post at the Royal London

Screeching to a halt as the call from the chief executive came through to let me know the vote to appoint me had been unanimous

Holding my breath as I stared at the black and white speckled screen, in the great doctor’s clinic and seeing not one but two beating hearts

Pushing through the barriers and ignoring the calls to “stay behind the yellow line” in Heathrow’s terminal three, as I lurched towards M who I had last seen fourteen years earlier, and the two nephews I had never seen before

But with all that, the decade’s lasting effect on my life has been in the final answer to the last question

For the first twelve years of my life in exile I had a vision of myself as living and functioning in this alien world, while all the time dreaming of my ultimate return to another world, a prodigal daughter’s return to the world where I belonged, where I fitted, where I had a family with a long history, where I could make a valuable contribution, where I would be appreciated.

It took the disasterous events of 2003 to jolt me out of my self-induced rose-pink coma, to shake me into consciousness and to force me to face the demons, demons whose very existence I had tried to deny

But it would take a further five years for me to finally face up to reality without my fantasy, and only in the last year of the decade did I start to accept myself for what I always was, as well as what I had become, to forgive myself for what I have and have not been able to do, and to “come out” about some but not yet all of my views and beliefs

And so as we start the second decade my anxieties are shifting

How will they and I manage as my parents prepare to leave London for Birmingham?

Will I be able to retire before I am sixty?

How can I best bring up children with a “modified” eastern morality whilst protecting them from religion?

How can I instil in them a sense of pride in their Iraqi heritage, while giving them a confident knowledge that they belong and can claim both a birth and ancestral right to remain in this, their home?

Here is hoping the second decade brings everyone less turmoil, less suffering, less wars, and less violent death than the angry words uttered by those in power in its first week threaten to unleash.

How to get away with murder

Another enquiry is going on, after weeks of evidence with snippets of information from a former head of the Foreign Office's Middle East department we hear that "regime change" in Iraq was discussed by the British as an option in 2001.

We then learn that removing Saddam Hussein was agreed by Bush and Blair in March 2002 at a meeting in Texas and mentioned officially in a speech the next day.

And surprise surprise the intelligence about Iraq's WMD was "patchy" in the run-up to the war, and Tony Blair knew there were no weapons of mass destruction ten days before the occupation started.

Even high ranking officials thought the invasion of Iraq was of "questionable legitimacy" because the US and UK had failed to persuade other countries of the need for war (but would probably have been fine if they had delayed the invasion until October 2003!)

And it is official postwar planning was "nowhere near ready", and "The Americans seemed to lose focus" after the initial overthrow of Saddam's regime

And then one of the murderers gives a morning interview and glibly states that it was always about overthrowing the regime!

What is the point of these enquiries? the stated reasons for the occupation were lies, most of this was known already, replacing one lie the danger of non-exsisting weapons, for another lie that of saving the poor people from "one of the last dictatorships in the world" !!!!!

What now? seven years is enough time for the world to move on, other problems to take over, almost everyone to lose interest, the murder victims (both the country and its people) to have been smudged from recent memory, and once more for the powerful to write and re-write made up history and get away with it

Curtained pilau pie

Fry 1 cup of almonds in butter



Remove from pan.
Into same pan with more butter and olive oil fry one cup each of finely diced carrots and potatoes.



Once soft, add spices (this is entirely up to taste, curry mixture will do, or mixed spices including tumeric, but a good pinch of cloves is vital)



Add one cup of sultanas, cook slowly, stir constantly.



In a separate pan fry 500g of chicken breast pieces, with same spice combination.



Remove chicken, leave aside.
In same pan fry a few hard boiled eggs, set aside.



Add half a cup of vermicelli and two cups of rice to the fried vegetables, mix well, add three cups of chicken stock, reduce heat to minimum, cover and leave to cook.



Now for the fun bit!

Coat the inner surface of a saucepan with a liberal coating of melted butter, then line with sheets of filo pastry, making sure there is a rim hanging all around the pan, and brushing each sheet with melted butter.



Fill the pastry lined pan with the rice mix, mixing in the almonds and chicken, and placing the eggs either in the base or the top of the mixture.



Fold the filo pastry rim over the mixture, sealing the "pie", brush top and edges with butter, and bake in a pre-heated oven (200c) for thirty minutes..



Let the pie rest for a few minutes, then turn over to serve.



There really is no better treatment for depression than inviting friends over for a meal.

Like many of our traditional dishes this is a unique mixture of borrowed, adapted and improved.

The pie filling is very Indian, the idea of filo pastry is very Turkish, the name (Perdely) I think is persian for curtain, but the whole combination is pure Iraqi.

Travesty

As a student Alaa was voted the best student of the year, he never failed to impress, was respected by all his tutors and fellow students.

As a young doctor he earned eternal friends by supporting those who lost jobs and homes as a result of their "non compliance".

As a lecturer, and later senior lecturer in AlNahrain university he was a source of inspiration to all those lucky enough to train in his department.

بغداد/ اور نيوز
يتخوف طلبة واساتذة كلية الطب بجامعة النهرين ان تتحول كليتهم الى (مستنصرية) اخرى، بسبب ما وصفوه بـ (اجندة) تنفذها عميدة الكلية د. فائزة عفتان الراوي، بضغوطات من الاحزاب المهيمنة في العملية السياسية.
وشهد الحرم الجامعي لكلية طب النهرين الاربعاء اعتصاماً نظمه اساتذة وطلبة الكلية احتجاجاً على اقالة د. علاء حسين غني رئيس قسم الباثولوجي من منصبه، بشكل مفاجئ ومن دون سابق انذار، فضلاً عن ان قرار الاقالة ترك عائماً ولم يوضح الاسباب.
وطردت عميد الكلية الصحفيين والاعلاميين الذين حضروا لتغطية الاعتصام، باستخدام الحرس الجامعي، وبضمنهم كادر قناة العراقية شبه الرسمية، باستثناء قناة الاتجاه التي ناضل كادرها لتصوير الاعتصام من مبنى مستشفى الكاظمية التعليمي الملاصق لمبنى كلية الطب، وحين اكتشفت العميدة ذلك ارسلت الحرس الجامعي لمطاردتهم، فما كان منهم الا عبور السياج نحو الشارع وتصوير الاعتصام. وهذه ليست المرة الاولى التي تطرد فيها العميد فائزة الراوي الصحفيين والاعلاميين، اذ قامت بذلك خلال احتفالية تكريم العميد السابق البروفيسور حكمت عبد الرسول علي أحد مؤسسي الكلية.
غير ان الاعتصام الذي حاولت العميد التكتم والتعتيم عليه، الا ان القوى السياسية جميعها أخذت علماً به، اذ تشير مصادر موثوقة لوكالة (اور) ان معين الكاظمي القيادي في المجلس الاعلى حضر الى الكلية وعقد اجتماعاً مع العميد، تعتقد المصادر انه دار حول اقالة د. علاء حسين غني وتعيين المعاون الاداري د. حسام حسون الاسدي رئيسا لقسم الباثولوجي بالوكالة، وهي خطوة رآها اساتذة الكلية الطبية انها محاولة لضرب الاساتذة بعضهم بالاخر لتتمكن الراوي من تنفيذ الاجندة المكلفة بها، على حد قول المصادر.
وتقول المصادر ذاتها ان مشكلة اقالة د. غني تفاقمت بعد اكتشاف اعضاء الهيئة التدريسية في كلية طب النهرين ان قرار الاقالة كان مبيتاً وانه تم بعد مذكرة رفعتها العميد الى رئيس جامعة النهرين د. عدنان الجنابي تطالب فيه باقالة د. غني.
وبحسب المصادر الموثوقة، فان القصة ابتدأت الاسبوع الماضي، عندما استدعى د. علاء حسين غني عددا من الطالبات، باعتباره رئيساً للجنة الانضباط في الكلية، وتحدث معهن بشأن تصرفاتهن وارتدائهن ملابس لا تليق بالحرم الجامعي، وعرضهن (التاتو) او الوشم المرسوم على سيقانهن بطريقة غير مناسبة.
لكن حظ د. غني العاثر، ان كانت بين الطالبات الثلاث طالبة، مستقوية بعمها الذي يشغل منصباً كبيراً في مكتب نائب الرئيس طارق الهاشمي، فكان ان ردت على د. غني بالقول : انها " لاتستطيع ازالة الوشم لانها عملته في لبنان وبالتالي عليها السفر الى بيروت لازالته"، لكن د. غني نصحها، كما تقول المصادر، بان الطبيب او الطبيبة ليس ملك نفسه وانه شخصية عامة يطلق عليه تكرماً تسمية الحكيم، وبالتالي فان عليها ان تكون فعلا بمستوى المسؤولية، لاسيما وانها في المرحلة الثالثة والتي تستوجب دوام شبه كامل في المستشفى، وقد يعرضها الى سخرية المرضى والكوادر الطبية الوسطية، وهذا يضر بمسيرتها المهنية.
وتقول المصادر ان الطالبة (المستقوية بعمها)، والذي تحتفظ باسمها وكالة (اور)، خرجت من غرفة د. غني تكفكف دموعها، من دون ان تنبس ببنت شفة، لكن الاساتذة والطلبة لاحظوا غيابها عن الدوام في الكلية، واكتشفوا الاربعاء انه تم نقلها (خارج السياقات المعتمدة) الى كلية الطب بجامعة بغداد، وبنفس مرحلتها.
وكانت العميد فائزة الراوي حاولت من خلال المعاون العلمي د. عبد الرزاق المشهداني تفريق المعتصمين وانهاء الاعتصام، وعندما لم ينجح من مهمته، عمدت، كما يقول الطلبة والاساتذة، الى بث الجواسيس لتسجيل اسماء الطلبة المعتصمين تضامنا مع استاذهم، ويقولون انها "قد تعمد الى استخدام صلاحياتها لايذاء الطلبة".
يشار الى ان د. علاء حسين غني كان مرشحا لمنصب عميد طب النهرين، لكن المحاصصة في الوظائف والتي جعلت جامعة النهرين من حصة الحزب الاسلامي منعت حصوله على المنصب برغم امكاناته العلمية والادارية، فضلاً عن مزاياه الانسانية التي يروي منها الطلبة والاساتذة الكثير من الحالات، وابرزها كيفية تعامله مع العميد فائزة الراوي عندما كانت تعمل بمعيته خلال سنوات العنف الطائفي، وكيف كان يتغاضى عن غياباتها عن الدوام ويقوم بايصال راتبها الى منزلها.
وتخشى المصادر التي تحدثت لوكالة (اور) من ان تتحول كلية طب النهرين الى ساحة اخرى للخلافات السياسية، التي تكرس الطائفية، بشكل يجعل وضعها اسوء من وضع الجامعة المستنصرية التي بالرغم من تدخل رئيس الوزراء نوري المالكي، الا ان النار مازالت تحت الرماد.

Everything has changed

and yet

Nothing has changed

Confused Lah

Confusing really sums up the experience

A fve-day visit to this island country, the size of greater London.

Home to somewhere between 4 and 5 million people, tightly packed together,


one quarter of who are ex-patriots.

A lush tropical island, with the deep green forests and palms,



and the perfect location for an extraordinary outdoor zoo.






An intensely competitive people, who are fiercely proud of their achievements as one of the four Asian tigers,



a melting pot of religions





a country with a history of less than one hundred years, trying to create a national identity from three groups of people (Chinese 70%, Indians, and Malays); peoples who have combined histories of many thousands of years.





A country moulded to the dreams of one man, with rules and regulations that range from the draconian (punishment for a number of serious misdemeanours includes hefty fines, long jail sentences and several lashes, more heinous crimes resulting in hanging), to the impossible to enforce (the S$1000 fine for not flushing public toilets!)

A young nation that in turn has placed great emphasis on using English as the official language to unite the people, followed more recently by the “mother tongue” initiative, probably a reflection of likely future financial directions.

The confusion started at the internationally acclaimed airport, where our baggage arrived on the conveyor belt before we got through the short queue at immigration control, an airport that looks more like a shopping centre than one of the busiest hubs in the area.




One of the main reasons behind the visit was to attend interviews at the second largest hospital

We spent part of three of the five days at the modern hospital, which once more looks more like a shopping centre



But it isn't all fun and games

Singapore is very much into individual responsibility and choice

Despite a flourishing economy and very light touch taxation there is no such thing as “free” in this country, if you send your children to school you pay, if you get ill you pay, and don’t go looking to the state for help when you elderly or disabled, you or your family should have prepared for this earlier.

Everyone pays in a very strict mean-tested method, so even the poorest have to pay a minimum for the compulsory education, and at least 20% of the cost of their medical care.

Those who pay more get more, to the uncomfortable extent that those unable to pay more than 20% of the cost of their inpatient stay end up in on a six-bedded ward which, in distinct contrast to everywhere else in the hospital, to every public building, every shop, and every underground station or train, is devoid of air conditioning!

I am not sure if less privileged school children study in less comfortable classes but I would not be surprised.

The less privileged neighbouring countries provide an underclass of manual workers and domestics who are paid a pittance and live in cupboards inside the otherwise opulent “condos”

For those willing to adapt to the differences, there is the temptation of extravagant salaries, negligible taxation, and departments that are haemorrhaging experienced doctors to the expanding private health services

We returned home in a unique situation of having been offered jobs that would tick so many boxes it was almost too good to be true

We have not yet given the names of referees

Not because we cannot find referees, but because we are being threatened with fates worse than death by family members who did not take the trip seriously until we started talking about the schools we had visited, the flats we had liked, and the possibility of returning in five to seven years to live the rest of our working life mortgage free!

Decisions were so much easier when we thought we had nothing to lose,
when we thought we were leaving nothing behind,
when we had no dependents to worry about and
when we were two decades younger!

Please provide details of three referees

Of all the things I did not know about life in the UK before I arrived, the need for referees was not one of them.

I had for a long time frequented the British Council in Baghdad, I had borrowed books, music cassettes and videos from the library, I had been to music shows and plays, but I had also spent a lot of time secretly reading medical books designed to help get through the UK PLAB exam, and tucked inside the magazines I appeared to be reading, I had read the career pages of the British Medical Journal.

I knew I needed to find referees, but as no-one knew I was planning to leave I couldn’t ask any of my tutors or consultants to be my referee, after I left one of the senior consultants I had worked with actually sent a message that he would speak to potential employees and prevent me getting a job! (although to be fair he was under pressure from my father to do so)

At least I had my medical diploma, by the mid-nineties when a relative who had been denied a copy of his diploma was applying for the American exams he was distraught to find that when the licensing authorities contacted the deanery in Baghdad university to confirm he had studied there, the assistant dean wrote back categorically denying he had ever attended the college (the assistant dean was shot dead in his private clinic soon after the occupation).

Doing unpaid observer work on a ward was the only way to get the name of a UK consultant at the bottom of your CV, which would then make it possible to compete for paid jobs.

The need for referees for every new job proved over the years to be the most effective way of silencing any possible complaints against all manner of bullying and harassment from senior consultants, until eventually having worked in so many centres we had amassed a number of names from whom to choose.

But we also learnt to our detriment that not everyone who agrees or even offers to act as referee is doing a good deed, after the third unsuccessful job application, a young consultant on the interview panel took my husband aside and gently suggested he remove one of his referees from the list, he also showed him the “warning” letter that had been submitted by this smiling friendly “mate”.

One of the advantages of a more permanent post is that this whole “who can I trust to ask to be my referees” question had become a distant memory.

Well.. until now that is.

Every two or three years we go through this process, a combination of concerns about the norms our children are growing up with, financial constraints, and professional restrictions in a target chasing, management heavy, and price cuts driven NHS mean we update the CV’s, and apply for jobs somewhere other than the UK.

For a while in the nineties we seriously considered America, and invested time and effort in obtaining necessary exams to make the move possible, then we decided to try moving East, and even made it to the interview stage for jobs in a brand new medical centre in Abu Dhabi a few years ago, but decided to we would find it too difficult to function in a place where it was normal to have a “special” entrance to the centre reserved for members of the Emir’s extended family!

We are going through the motions again, electronically so far at least, job adverts have been responded to, we have had the preliminary telephone conversation and we are due to arrive in the tiny Island on the other side of the world next week for the face to face interviews, followed by visits to UK curriculum following international schools, and a few flats available to rent.

And the most difficult question we face?

Who can we safely ask to be our referees?