Wednesday 5 June 2019

Fractions of a minute

My patients are sick and the funds scarce
My twins sit ten GCSE's each
My mother waiting for cardiac surgery cannot walk and talk at the same time
My father waiting for cardiac investigations cannot remember when his last bout of pain was
My husband facing disciplinary proceedings and dismissal, delayed so far by an eighteen month legal battle that has cost us and our extended family £180,000, third court appearance due in two weeks, defeat will mean certain repossession of the family home.

For the majority of my waking moments my face is tense, my mind spinning and chest tight

But regardless of how few hours ago I eventually drifted into a nightmare filled mentally spent sleep

There are a few seconds of every morning
Sandwiched between the second my eyes open, and the second my brain logs on to the mountains I need to climb
When I have an empty clear head

For those calm fractions of a minute every day I am grateful