Thursday 9 October 2014

Dissociation


My love.... everything is fate
My love ....it is not our hands, we were created for misfortune
Perhaps .....our fate..... will bring us together once more
When our desire to meet is stronger
And if lifelong friends
Deny knowledge of each other
And meet as strangers
Then go our separate ways

Do not say we chose...
Rather our fate chose for us



I sit in the corner letting them take the lead and tell myself it is for the best, but wish I could do it myself

I smile in the lift listening to the outcome of the great british bake off and tell myself integration is vital, and wish I really felt it

I lean on the wall watching the parents partake in the wine and nibbles and tell myself it is what is best for him, and wish I had something to say

I stare at the report he is trying to write about music and tell him it is vital for his education, and wish we could share the sounds from my childhood

I check the news for the hundredth time and

I tell myself

I made a choice

I am alive, we are alive

The alternative is but a memory...a...ruin

This song keeps playing in my mind

Did "I" chose?

Am "I" alive?